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How to Get "Unstuck" and Finally Move Forward

How to Get "Unstuck" and Finally Move Forward

April 24, 2008

So what's really holding you back?

You probably think this is an odd way to begin an article ' but I bet one or two things came to mind as I asked that question. As a business owner, I'm sure you have ideas of ways to improve your operation, launch a new product or test something new.

So I ask you again, what's really holding you back?

It may be finances, resources, or just plain lack of enough information for you to feel comfortable enough to make a decision. But I'd also bet there's more to it. It could stem from your 'way of being.' What I mean by that is that we are who we are based on our talents, skills and experiences. They shape us and form our beliefs, fears and thoughts. But they can also keep us boxed in if we're not willing to take a risk and to change.

Where will your current habits take you?

In fact, your current way of being may not be working at all anymore. The secret is to see the impact your current way of being is having on yourself and others. Ask yourself this question: How is my attitude and behavior affecting my family, friends and co-workers?

Take that vision to its ultimate ending. Where will your current habits take you? Could you eventually lose some of your customers? Could you perhaps lose the business? The future may actually look bleak, unless you change.

When you've associated your current way of being with enough pain, you're actually ready to consider a new possibility or a new way of being.

When you're ready to make a change, think of your new way of being as a coat. You're just trying it on and seeing how it fits. You don't have to commit to it, just consider what it would be like.

What new way, or new possibility, can you try on? Try to do it without getting sucked down by all of your limiting beliefs. Just imagine what it could potentially be.

For instance, I know someone whose old way of being was centered around the idea of scarcity. Everything was viewed as a limited resource that had to be protected.

He was reluctant to give new computers to his staff. He was worried about spending too much time with one client. While talking with prospects, he often cut them off mid-sentence so he could quickly run to the next deal, constantly afraid there wasn't enough business.

As a result, he felt afraid, nervous and stressed out. He was frustrated, and concerned that there was never enough time or money. There were impacts that were even more negative on him physically. He tended to overeat, didn't sleep well, ground his teeth, etc. He found himself eating junk food because it was cheaper. He was afraid to be generous with other people. His gifts seemed cheap and his gestures of affection seemed artificial. He spent a great deal of time and energy worrying about the future instead of enjoying the present.

Now picture a future with a new possibility

Fortunately, my friend was able to imagine a new possibility -- one in which his new way of being was centered around the idea of abundance.

He now gives and never worries about what he will get in return. He's more willing to help others and less worried about whether he will be compensated for helping.

He doesn't negotiate as hard to try to get the upper hand; he's more interested in what's fair. He tends to think long-term instead of short-term, because he sees the possible benefits in the months or years to come. He's more willing to spend time with a customer and develop a long-term relationship.

What about you? What's your old way of being? How would it feel to try on a new way of being?

Let's go back to the first question I asked: What's really holding you back? If you do nothing, what's the inevitable future?

Now turn your way of being around and imagine what it would be like if you took a risk and went forward with your idea. What does the future look like now?